Jim Cummings Cup Again Awarded to DJay Andersen; Final 2020 Champs and Money Winners Announced
"Yeah, well, see, okay … being champion of this dopey little fantasy league is almost getting too easy," DJay said via Zoom while hanging out in his Mexican enclave, which he purchased with last season's winnings. "I won handily last year, you guys changed the rules on me, but then I won again. What are you going to do next year, give everyone a thousand-point handicap just to see if they can be competitive? I wouldn't blame you if you tried something nefarious, but I have enough confidence after winning two seasons in a row that I will not only win but I will lap half of the field three times."
I mean, damn, right? He's just that good.
In addition to being crowned the 2020+ Overall Champ, DJay was also crowned as MLB Team co-champ and Pitching co-champ.
"It was a hell of a season," DJay said. "I want to thank the chowderheads in the front offices for putting up a unique set of obstacles during this pandemic so I could cut through them like a hot knife through cold butter. It actually made the season interesting for about seven seconds."
As Commissioner Rube Furrow symbolically handed DJay the Jim Cummings Cub via Zoom, his Internet connection became unstable and it sounded like he said something approximating "We [garbled] [garbled] [garbled] -derson [silence] [freeze] and his incred- [garbled] -ing Internet connec- [garbled] [garbled] take my f-[freeze]-ing anger out an [garbled] [freeze] these assh- [garbled] but anyway [garbled] [long freeze] [garbled] -uga Power League. Congratulations, DJay."
Immediately after the award presentation, some anonymous sources speculated that Furrow didn't have a bad Internet connection but instead sounded that way because he always sounds that way at the beginning of his customary off-season benders, which begins the moment the season ends.
The Jim Cummings Cup is named after the 2005 Overall Champ, who died in 2013, and is given each year in honor of winning the Overall SLPL Championship. It’s a coffee cup, not an athletic cup, though league head honchos are rethinking that choice, given that Jim was said to be an excellent ballplayer.
And here are the official money-winners:
Now, DJay, Aaron, Mike, Paul, Sue, Jack, Brandon, and Josh … please use your Contact Us page to let us know how you would like us to transmit your winnings.
Congrats to all of our champs and co-champs, especially Overall Champ DJay Anderson! Go easy on us next year, won't you?
Thanks, all, for playing this season. We hope to see you next year!
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One Game Away ...
We Have a Wild Card World Series
That Game 4 ending was simply bonkers. Someone on Twitter referred to it as a Double Buckner. Best result? We have a three-game World Series ahead of us. Too cool.
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The Dodgers Have One
Okay, the Dodgers have one. Rays, tonight it's your turn. Let's keep that up until we get to Game 7.
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DJay, Send Us Your Address
I believe we can cut a check to DJay already.
Enjoy your World Series. Let's take it to Game 7!
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World Series Is Set
Make This A Trend, Please
Robbing a home run and pretending you didn’t is more disrespectful than any bat flip, great addition to the game pic.twitter.com/Bi00uNDsgg
— Bay Area Sports Guy (@BASportsGuy) October 17, 2020
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I'm Not Sad for the Reason You Think
Joe Morgan is dead. As the guy who joyfully put him on my Hall of Fame Death Pool roster five times every year in the hopes that he would give me joy with his death as a way to pay back all the years of listening to his painfully painful color commentary, I am actually sad. Not because we don't have a Hall of Fame Death Pool this year and I lost out on all his points but because I'm just sad for all the loss of life, period. Lou Brock. Tom Seaver, Bob Gibson. Whitey Ford. Over two-hundred-and-ten-thousand Covid deaths. I mean, what the every-loving hell?!
And because SLPL+ is supposed to be positive, I'll do something I never thought I would do: Celebrate Joe Morgan.
Joe Morgan: As a baseball-loving kid, I dug the Big Red Machine. Johnny Bench was my guy, but that infield was really something, with you and Pete Rose and Tony Perez and Davey Concepcion. Yours was one of the first teams I ever saw in person during a regular season game, against the Padres, and that game helped cement me as a lifelong baseball fan. I know I cursed your announcing thousands of times over the years, but today, remembering your playing days on the Reds, I am sad you are gone.
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Crap. And Damnit.
Stros, Yanks Both Get One
Heading Into the Division Series
Love the Wild Card Serieses
Dunno about all y'all, but I am loving the Wild Card format. I could get behind doing this every season. But it sure sucks being a Cleveland Indians fan.
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And Just Like That ...
This will be an interesting playoffs, with 16 teams heading into the Wild Card playoffs. Nothing changes for the SLPL+ this season, though … if you have a team or a player, you get their points all the way through the end of the World Series. Considering that five teams are within 10 points and 16 teams are within 50 points of DJ heading into the playoffs, I want to think things can turn interesting very fast.
Good luck, all!
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That's Complicated
Final Weekend Already?
Robbery
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Deeger's Dogs In First. Again.
Did Ripkin Die or Something?
Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, mlb.com?! A single "Ripkin played more games in a row than another player" story would've sufficed, I think. Minutia does not honor an accomplishment. Seriously, mlb.com: Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!
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Life Goals
Transfixing
A Single Out?!
16 Team Playoffs Rock
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Slam Diego
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The Horror. The Horror.
Scary moment in last night’s A’s game. You never want to see a fan get hurt and I really hope he’s ok
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Sunday Morning WTF?! There's An App for That
Beluga Whale saves phone from the depths of the sea in Norway. pic.twitter.com/IVcj7q4owx
— I Didn't Know That (@lDidNotKnowThat) August 12, 2020
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A Worthy Debate
"Juuuuuuuuuuuust A Bit Outside"
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Damnit, Guys
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4-Base Error
Sunday Morning WTF?! Glad I Don't Have Walk-Up Music
Earlier this year, the Blue Jays’ Reese McGuire was arrested for public masturbation.
— Not Jerry Tipton (@NotJerryTipton) August 7, 2020
Listen to the song the Braves played for his walk-up music last night.
This is literally the greatest thing that has happened all year.
pic.twitter.com/keUBbrwZjV
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Everybody's In!
Thanks, all! Now it is time, as our History describes, "to sit back and do nothing for an entire season, a comfort enjoyed by many actual Major League Baseball owners."
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Still Looking for Payment
Please be sure to pay by end-of-day tomorrow, 'k?
P.S. If you wrote a check and have some way of demonstrating that you wrote and sent it — scout's honor will work — please let us know ASAP; we know the postal service is experiencing delays.
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Wait ... Have You Paid?
Our website is up and running.
You know where to find our standings (hint, below this blog post — and every blog post — we have a conveniently-titled link called "Standings"; you can also get there by clicking the big + button in the upper right of this screen).
Now you can just sit back and watch the shortened MLB season unfold.
BUT WAIT!
Have you paid your ownership fees?
If not, please do so NOW, 'cause come first-thing Saturday morning we will prune the league of any owners who have not paid by end-of-day Friday.
And you don't want that to happen, do you?
P.S. If you wrote a check and have some way of demonstrating that you wrote and sent it — scout's honor will work — please let us know ASAP; we know the postal service is experiencing delays.
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Our Standings
Sunday Morning WTF?! Sometimes You're the Windshield
Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot, you big, beautiful state of Florida! How do you so consistently keep entertaining us with your off-the-charts WTF?! buffoonary and craziness? Seriously, whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!
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We're Up and Running!
- We have 22 teams who have decided to join this stripped-down version of a league, fewer than recent seasons, which means all the lazy, apathetic, struggling owners from previous seasons are gone and the competition is more concentrated.
- Given the above, this will be a tough, hard-fought, awesome season!
- Our pot sits at — and will forever stay at — $550, which means our Overall Champ will rake $250 out of the pot and our Wins, HR, and K champs will get $100 each.
- Our standings page is up-and-running! It's an Excel spreadsheet, so use the tabs at the bottom of the page to see how things look. If we made any mistakes with your roster, please let us know ASAP so we can fix things pronto.
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Today's the Day Rosters Are Due: SLPL+
In case you’re interested, this here would be the league-leading roster, with 61 total points, as of this moment:
Cleveland Indians or San Diego Padres - 5 points
Christian Vazquez, Boston - 4 points
Teoscar Hernandez, Toronto - 4 points
Shane Bieber, Cleveland - 27 points
Max Scherzer, Washington - 21 points
Hope you can join the 2020 SLPL+!
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SLPL+: A Few Things
- Rosters are due by end-of-day — 11:59 pm Central time — Friday, July 31.
- Points earned for your team are awarded for the entire season, from Opening Day to the last game of the World Series.
- Though your MLB team cannot be a Division Champ from 2019, your hitters or pitchers can be from any MLB team, including the MLB team you choose for your roster. (Sorry, we created the roster submittin’ form when that restriction was a possibility but forgot to change it when we nixed the restriction.) If you submitted a roster thinking you couldn’t choose someone from your select MLB team, feel free to re-submit your roster.
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So the Answer Is Yes, Then
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Top Ten, er, Nine Reasons to Join SLPL+
Now, the details:
While there are literally thousands of reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League -- last year alone the number of reasons equaled $2,950 -- we have listed our ten, er, nine favorite reasons, which you can find by clicking on these words.
Remember, you have until Friday, July 31st, end-of-day, to submit your roster. Grab your spot quick-like by using the form linked to these words.
Good luck picking your roster!
In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...
The key takeaway? That the Santa Lechuga Power League fills the gaping vacuum in the universe known as “decent fantasy baseball.” How could you possibly not join?
By the way, where you see the date in the video for March 23, 2011? Yeah, ignore that. Think a week from today instead. That's when you need to have your rosters to us for this season.
Why Choose SLPL+?
“The SLPL is a fantasy baseball league for baseball fans who actually have a life and don't have the time to track daily statistics, make 2:00 a.m. trades, or worry about whether or not Julio Franco's pulled groin muscle will keep his on-base percentage low …
“Team owners could choose their teams at the beginning of the year, sit back, and watch to see how they did. No tedious stats tracking. No negotiating with fellow owners to try to swap shortstops. No geeking out …
“The league made it easy for lazy owners to sit back and do nothing for an entire season, a comfort enjoyed by many actual Major League Baseball owners.”
Rosters are due a week from today, on July 31st.
Have You Joined SLPL+ Yet?
Anyway, have you submitted a roster yet? If so, you saw this inspiring message:
"This is a league where most of the tough work you will have to do as an owner was done the minute you submitted your roster. Sure, you'll want to go to www-santa-lechuga.com regularly to check the standings and the league news, but that's nothing compared to big, bulky, mind-stifling fantasy leagues that eat up hours of your daily life as you try to figure out if your second-string DH is going to steal a base against left-handed pitching with less than two outs in the middle three innings on the road when the wind is blowing east and the moon is in Jupiter. We keep things simple so you have time to watch mind-numbing YouTube videos and cultivate that extra-delicate Egyptian crumble yeast for that special batch of Covid-inspired sourdough bread. Best of all, we dole out literally every single penny of ownership fees to our winners, which means no one is getting rich … except, of course, our winners."
*Speaking of the possibility of the season ending early, the handy-dandy roster submittin' form asks owners to vote on what to do with the ownership fees should the season end early, refund or distribute to current leaders. Be sure to vote.
Introducing SLPL+: The 2020 Santa Lechuga Power League
What’s the “+,” you ask? Think positive. Upbeat. Not dreary. The anti-2020. We know it’s not like us, like, at all, but this year needs a small reprieve from all the down notes that have been hitting this world.
And like Major League Baseball, we’re changing things up a bit, slimming things down. We’re keeping things simple. Read on to learn how it will work.
Ownership Fees
- Ownership fees are $25. You won’t spend another cent during the entire season.
Roster & Points
You pick a streamlined roster. Here's what it will look like and how you will earn points:
- One (1) MLB Team - You earn a point for every WIN your selected team puts in the W column. (Note: Your team can’t be a Division winner from 2019.)
- Two (2) Hitters - You earn a point for every HOME RUN your selected hitters hit.
- Two (2) Pitchers - You earn a point for every STRIKEOUT our selected pitchers throw.
- And that’s your entire roster.
Champs and Payouts
- We will crown fewer champs and distribute fewer payouts.
- Hitting Champ: Most HRs hit during the regular season and playoffs by the two hitters on a roster will be crowned.
- Pitching Champ: Most Ks thrown during the regular season and playoffs by the two pitchers on a roster will be crowned.
- MLB Team Champ: Most wins will be crowned.
- Overall Champ: Most combined points scored, total — for Hitting HRs, Pitching Ks, and MLB Team wins — will be crowned. (This champ will not be eligible to win monies for other categories, which will be awarded to the next deserving team(s).)
- Ties will split payouts in each of the four categories. There is no Magic Number.
Misc Notes
- We are not deducting points for anything. Your hitters can strike out 100 times and hit ten home runs; that will count as ten points. We told you we were keeping things positive.
- Playoff points earned — i.e., playoff HRs, Ks, and Wins — are included in all point totals for the purposes of awarding winners.
- There will be no trades. You get who you pick for the entire season, including playoffs.
- There will be no Hall of Fame Death Pool this year. Given everything else that’s going on, a death pool would feel like we are piling on. Remember, we’re keeping this positive.
Submit your roster using this fancy-dancy roster submittin' form.
We hope you will join us for this wholly unique — and positive — season of Santa Lechuga Power League fantasy baseball! And while you’re at it, why not recruit some new owners?
